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About Me Member Deviously Deviant 0verlordofyouMale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 7 Months
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The Zombie Apocalypse and You

Fri Nov 27, 2009, 1:29 AM
Firstly, you must understand the enemy(in this case zombies, next it might be sparkly vampires.) Zombies are slow, single minded, and most obviously dead or were dead. Therefore they are very hard to...rekill. Also, zombies are stupid. I don't mean get an F in all your special needs classes I mean having a tough time hobbling and blinking at the same time(note: zombies don't blink, nor breath meaning the can hobble just fine.) The only guarantied way to stop them is to destroy the BRAIN which is in the HEAD. Zombies also have an amazing sense of hearing, smell, but not so much with sight(not blinking will do that.)
Next you'll need supplies, notably supplies that can be easily replaced, last forever, or are reusable. Next you will need weapons to defend your self: Guns are good only in emergencies, due to the loud sound and limited ammunition, instead use a bow or better a crossbow, not only are they silent but you can also retrieve the arrow/bolt you just fired. For a melee weapon most people would recomend a machete, I would recomend either a short ax or a short handled pick, the reason being that a machete blade will dull and the act of sharpening it is rather loud and it doesn't matter how dull a pick or ax gets as long as it has an point or edge it is good to go. Next you will need a supply of food MRE's(Meals Ready to Eat) last forever and you can find them at most army surplus stores for cheap cheap cheap. If you can get two 55 gal. drums and fill them with water OR find a place with a well that can be adapted to be hand pumped. Next is you'll need a place to sleep. Somewhere a zombie or a zombie pile can not reach you, like up a tree or up a tall-steep cliff or inside a fenced in area(double fenced would be best) or in the middle of an entrenched area like a castle but small and with out water. Traps are also a good idea. Traps like a coyote trap, it wont kill the zombie but it will stop it. And if your really lucky that trap will trip him up so that he falls face first into another trap. Gotta enjoy the little things. And that is another thing, enjoy the little things because if you don't you'll go plum crazy and you might try something stupid like, say, trying to kiss a zombie. Not good for your health. If you can find other survivers and band together. This means you can take shifts to take watch and the erection of walls happens much fast when more than one person works on it. Also gives you someone to talk to. All you need to do now is hunker down and hope other people survive and are busy killing zombies. They more you kill the sooner you can go to a Motel 6 and take a real shower.

One more thing, if you see a sea of zombies, you know like the entire population of North and South America coming your way, run. You can stop that mess and short of a fussion bomb(important that it be fussion and not fission) you couldn't put enough of a dent in that horde to make a difference. But what then? Move to Alaska, the cold weather will literally freeze a zombie horde solid. Plus you can get plenty of water from the snow(melt it first.)

BEFORE I LEAVE A WARNING 1) don't eat zombie meat 2) don't act like a zombie a) zombies will still eat you b) people will shoot you 3) when you have this much dakka [link] it is ok to fire into the zombie horde indiscriminatly.

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  • Playing: Warhammer Mark of Chaos
  • Eating: leftovers
  • Drinking: Canadian Dry

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Comments


:iconizabeth:
Thanks for the favorite, much appreciated!

--
Love is the wisdom of the Fool, and the folly of the Wise.
:icon0verlordofyou:
Your quite welcome.

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DESPAIR FOR I AM THE END OF DAYS!
:icon0verlordofyou:
TESTING TESTIIIIIIING!!!!


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\-___|ZAAaaaaaappppp :onfire:
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/ /ZZ / /^^ * / /ZZ / / ^^
\@ ^/ /ZZ / / ^^
\/ /BB / /*# ^^
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DESPAIR FOR I AM THE END OF DAYS!
:icon0verlordofyou:
evaluation FAIL

--
DESPAIR FOR I AM THE END OF DAYS!
:iconguitar-shreddin-man:
I declare war!

[link]

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Needs nore Dakka
:icon0verlordofyou:
Thpt! [link]

--
DESPAIR FOR I AM THE END OF DAYS!
:iconguitar-shreddin-man:
oh yeah?!
[link]

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Needs nore Dakka
:icon0verlordofyou:
yeah! [link]

--
DESPAIR FOR I AM THE END OF DAYS!
:iconguitar-shreddin-man:
[link]
eat hot plasma

--
Needs nore Dakka

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